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The Prisoner says Questions are a Burden. As much as we love The Prisoner, we disagree, and hope to provide some answers to your most frequently asked questions on this page. If we haven't answered your question here, feel free to contact us. After we refer you to the FAQ, we'll do our best to get you a useful answer quickly.
Are you currently accepting unsolicited submissions?
Not at this time.
Why not?
The best thing an author can get from a publisher is distribution and publicity. Right now, we're not equipped to provide that in any way that's competitive with other publishers, and we're certain that our authors would be disappointed. Until we grow to a size that allows us to treat authors the way we want to be treated ourselves, we feel it would be irresponsible to accept manuscripts.
But you publish Wil Wheaton!
We sure do.
How long does it take for my order to get delivered?
We do our best to process orders and ship them within five days of receipt. Sometimes, (especially during the playoffs) we get a little, uh, delayed. We ship first class mail to US destinations, which can take between 2 and 5 days, depending on what kind of mood the USPS is in when we ship.
So . . . how long do I have to wait, then?
Usually less than two weeks, but we say up to four so when it arrives in two, you think we're awesome.
Can I order in any other way than through PayPal?
No. PayPal has shipping tools, tracking tools, and automated tools that allow us to easily run our business.
But PayPal is evil! I hate PayPal!
Sorry to hear that. We've never had a problem with PayPal, and until we grow to a point that allows us to afford our own inventory tracking software and custom billing and payment, it's the only way we're able to operate.
Will you ship to [insert country here]?
Yes! If your country isn't listed, please e-mail us so we can calculate shipping.
You forgot Poland!
Poland is in The Europe, Mr. President.
Oh no! I gave PayPal the wrong address! Can I send you my correct address?
You can, but we're not going to be able to do anything with it. We are a very small company, processing hundreds of orders in as automated a fashion as possible (that's how we keep the delivery time as short as we
can) and as a consequence of that process, digging out one order isn't as quick and easy as you may think. We've done our best to make it abundantly clear on our ordering page that we will only ship to the address you have given PayPal, so it is your responsibility to ensure you've given us the correct information. We will not issue refunds for orders shipped to an old address. We're sorry that we have to take such a hard line on this, and we appreciate your support and understanding.
Can I get my copy of [Dancing Barefoot/ Happiest Days of Our Lives] autographed?
Dancing Barefoot is no longer published by Monolith Press, but Wil Wheaton occasionally sells signed copies through his blog. The softcover of The Happiest Days of Our Lives is not being offered in a signed edition, but there will be a signed, numbered, limited edition hardback of The Happiest Days of Our Lives available soon. However, if you meet Wil at a personal appearence, he will be happy to sign your book, your Wesley Crusher Mint In Box, and even your dog.
Are you going to do a book signing tour for The Happiest Days of Our Lives?
Yes. We haven't finalized our destinations, but you can vote for your town on Wil Wheaton's page at Eventful.com.
Why do your books seem to be of a higher cost than books by well-known authors?
More well-known authors are published by major publishing houses, who have much lower costs than a small press like Monolith. Because we don't print 50,000 copies of a particular book, our costs are higher, and that's reflected in our prices.
Are you going to sell your books on Amazon.com?
Eventually, but don't hold your breath.
When are you going to create Monolith Press gear?
Like, fishing gear?
No, dummy. Clothes and stuff, so I can represent!
Oh. Sorry. Right now, our time and energy is focused on promoting and shipping The Happiest Days of Our Lives. When we have time to spare, we'll be designing and creating some cool MP gear, so you can help us protect our rep at the annual indie publisher's rumble.
What's your favorite filter in The Video Toaster?
Reverse Spin Explode.
Who did that kick-ass website?
UserGlue design did all the work. Wil Wheaton consulted, and UserGlue made sure that he didn't do anything too lame. UserGlue, of course, had not control over the lame color commentary spread throughout.
Who wrote the answer to the above FAQ?
UserGlue.
You keep saying you're a small operation. Who are you guys, anyway?
Wil Wheaton is the owner, president, and Muad-Dib.
Russ Unger is the webmaster and head of customer service.
Andrew Hackard is the managing editor.
Sean Bonner is our designer.
Contrary to what you may have heard, we do not employ a small army of hyper-intelligent robotic monkeys to do all our work for us, while we drink Arrogant Bastard Ale & Leinenkugel's Apple Spice and play Halo 3. Rocketball in The Narrows in 5 minutes, F'ers!
I want my local shop to carry the book. How do I get them to stock it?
Have an authorized representative contact us via the appropriate email address located on the Contact Us page. We are happy to work with local, independent booksellers. As a matter of fact, we love independent booksellers. The instant one of the major ones contacts us, we assure you that you'll be able to find it at those locations near you, as well.
How can I help promote your books?
We are working on a media kit, including PDF excerpts, a sheet of reviews, and buttons and banners you can use to link to us on your own blog. We did this with Dancing Barefoot, and we're convinced that help from people like you was a major contributing factor to its success.
The best thing you can do, if you genuinely like any of our books, is tell people about them. Loan out copies, read them to your spouse on long road trips, write about us and link to us on your blog, and spread the word. Cory Doctorow, one of our inspirations, once said that publicity and marketing doesn't sell books as much as word of mouth does, and we're sort of counting on you to spread the word.
You can also ask about it over and over again in local book stores (indie and mainstream) and libraries. Ask your local SciFi, Star Trek, or Comic club to have Wil in for a reading and signing.
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